Swimming in the deep

So it is New Year’s Eve 2015. This blog is celebrating its very first birthday — yeah ūüôā What began as a spontaneous urge for the new and untried has turned into a unique and surprisingly fun and edifying playground. While my writing expectations didn’t dare exceed¬†more than posting two entries per month, last count totalled over¬†46 entries in 52 weeks! I have been¬†learning a lot — about myself, about¬†publishing and sharing deep thoughts, about others.

Writing the blog has confirmed and strengthened a tendency I already had, i.e. I process emotions and strong experiences through writing. Many entries have their genesis in my journal, gestating quietly but surely in those safe and secluded pages. Other entries come from previously written articles and essays, reflections and homilies but now updated and adapted for blog publishing. Each one grows from the intimacy of personal experience into food for public sharing.

This transformation does not come without effort and discipline, however. The process by which the raw material is refined into universal gold requires many rewrites and critical wordsmithing. For one thing, some reflections involving experiences with other people require a respectful concealing of identities¬†while maintaining the core dynamics of the message. Other reflections become much more digestible with ruthless trimming and streamlining, turning my own uncensored verbal diarrhea¬†into a coherent and intelligible flow of thought ready to serve to the blog guests …

Hmm, not sure if this is an appropriate image … from diarrhea to serving guests! Can I find a more palatable image? How about: turning my own uncensored verbal avalanche into a carefully crafted ski-jump, both inviting and challenging my guests? From avalanche to ski-jump — have I just invented a new analogy? Maybe this is how wordsmithing works — see what I mean¬†by fun? ūüôā

A third factor that challenges¬†writing for publication¬†is the important question: how do those not sharing my religious worldview read this, and how can I make room for them? To be honest, I often struggle with not seeing the Christian woods through the religious trees. My language and expressions are steeped in Scripture and the faith of the Church. I am so used to wearing the Christian meaning-making lens that I don’t¬†notice how that same lens can make my ramblings hard to access for those who use a different meaning-making lens.

I believe this question is crucial in today’s secular culture if we wish our witness to have any meaning for future generations. Henri Nouwen is my guide in this matter:

Much of my thinking and writing presupposed a familiarity with concepts and images that for many centuries had nourished the spiritual life of Christians and Jews, but for many people these concepts have lost their power to bring them in touch with their spiritual center. (Life of the Beloved, pg, 20)

Nouwen¬†wrote his book¬†“Life of the Beloved” for¬†his dear friend¬†Fred who was a secular Jew. One day, Fred, who was familiar with most of Nouwen’s books, challenged Henri to write a book he and his secular friends could resonate with. When Henri resisted, his friend insisted, “You have something to say, but you keep saying it to people who least need to hear it … What about us young, ambitious, secular men and women wondering what life is all about after all? Can you speak to us with the same conviction as you speak to those who share your tradition, your language and your vision?” (Life of the Beloved, pg. 21)

The past year presented a few challenges in this department. I was asked to offer some¬†“words of reflection” at a civil wedding ceremony with the request not to make it “too religious.” I discovered that this was easier said than done for me. I employ biblical images and references without thinking. I thought I had trimmed down my God-language ruthlessly. But when I asked a friend, familiar with speaking into people’s secular realities, to read my draft text, her comment was unequivocal: too much God! So at her gentle yet clear suggestion, I performed more surgery on the text and it hurt. Yet, once delivered at the ceremony, I realized that the couple had truly heard my words, for they were words which found resonance in their life experience.

Another challenge¬†to share¬†outside my comfort zone¬†pertains to cherished relationships and friendships with those whose lives are interpreted through¬†different belief systems. This will be an ongoing quest¬†in the new year — learning¬†to write and speak with a new vocabulary without feeling that I am somehow untrue to my deepest convictions by doing so. Suggestions and insights from blog readers would be most welcome on this subject.

So I’ll own up to it: when it comes to meaning-making I’m definitely a Jesus-lovin’ deep-sea swimmer (when it comes to the real¬†physical version,¬†I prefer lane swimming in the pool (slow but steady) followed by the hot tub!). Day-to-day living makes me rub shoulders with many people, some of whom may¬†never consider¬†swimming in the deep end of meaning-making waters. Others may swim deep in different spiritual waters than I do; still others prefer¬†to safely stay in that part of¬† the pool where they can still comfortably stand. All this can make deep-sea swimming a crazy and lonely quest, so I’m doubly grateful for those who take the time to read my¬†musings.

Reactions from readers always leave me in awe and wonder about the miracle that turns one individual’s¬†fumbling meaning-making attempts into something that has a universal resonance. Only a few readers post comments for public sharing, but more share privately. I’m deeply grateful for every reader¬†— you help me realize that I’m not the only crazy one that swims deep into the meaning-making oceans of life, with Jesus as my compass and guide. While¬†swimming in the deep layers of life¬†is a solitary activity, and necessarily so, it also needs a community of other swimmers to belong to, to be corrected and enriched by, to be encouraged and ¬†affirmed by.

??????????????????????????????????????????????So, dear readers, wherever you are¬†on this beautiful planet (and for some of you it is already 2016~), it’s time to post this last piece in 2015 before I settle into¬†the evening with my dear husband to watch movies. Let’s raise the glass to another year diving into the deep together — it promises to be an exciting one! HAPPY NEW YEAR ūüôā

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